Vegeta Stories
by SuperSaiyanFox
Summary: A collection of short funny stories involving Vegeta. 2 Sucks, but please read 3.
1. Vegeta Meets Kickball

Vegeta was sleeping on the bench next to the baseball field that the neighborhood kids sometimes used as a kickball field. Little Tommy kicks the ball in the air and it's a foul. It flies over to where Vegeta is sleeping and it hits him on the head. Vegeta instantly jumps up and yells, "Who the hell did that?" He glared at the children playing ball. "Which one of you insolent fools did that?" None of the kids responded. "I demand to know at once! Do not defy the Prince of Saiyans!"

"Yadda yadda old man. Pipe down and go back to being a hobo," said Michael the oldest of the kids - sixteen - who had went to fetch the ball.

"What the hell did you just say to me kid?" Vegeta tightened his fists and planted his feet into the ground.

"I said shut up," Michael started raising his voice.

Vegeta threw his arm out grabbed the back collar of Michael's shirt and threw him up into the air. "Now which one of you munchkins hit me?" The children were all cowards and pointed at Little Tommy then ran off.

Little T. started backing up, but couldn't go any further because he back up into the fence. "Please don't hurt me Mister Hobo With Pointy Hair."

"I don't know what this word 'hobo' you humans keep referring to is, but nobody messes with I the great Prince Vegeta!" Vegeta paused. "Actually, if you think about it I'm the King since my dad is dead. All right forget that last part. Nobody messes with I the great King Vegeta!"

Vegeta started powering up and energy ball when suddenly he got dizzy. "Huh? What happened?" The local police had seen the crime and had jammed a needle of sleeping drugs into Vegeta. They jammed so much not even the Saiyan Prince could stay awake.

"You are under arrest! You have . . ." Vegeta didn't hear the rest because he dozed off. Little Tommy ran off and the police put Vegeta in the car and drove him down to the station where he eventually broke out.

_6 Days Later_

Little T. and the other kids were playing kick ball when they heard screaming. BOOM! A big cloud of dust. Something crashed into the baseball field. When everything cleared away they walked over and saw Michael.


	2. Vegeta Almost Becomes A Mailman

Vegeta kicked a rock and it went flying into a building and fell over. "That stupid Earth woman! Making me get a job!" He was angry with Bulma because she was forcing him to get a job after Capsule Corp.'s sales dropped tremendously. "These damn earthlings always working for success! They should just take it!"

Vegeta walked past the post office then froze; he backed up and looked in the window. He saw a 'Help Wanted' sign and in very small print he read:

Desperately!

He thought of this as a golden opportunity. Normally he wouldn't give in so easily, but he knew after seeing his father cower from his mother, women were demanding - and always got the demand.

The Saiyan Prince ran inside and said in his deep voice, "Give me a job!"

A tall skinny man in blue said, "Okay, sir, but you're going to have to give us a resume, make an appointment, and -"

"Shut up!" Vegeta slammed his hands on the counter. "Give me a damn job now!"

The skinny man pushed the button underneath the counter to signal the police to come. "Okay, mister but I need to see if you have a police record and I need to talk to my -"

"I said give me a job, now!" Vegeta's eyes tightened, he was growling, his muscles were flexed, and his veins were popping out.

"Sir, I've -" Vegeta grabbed him by the neck and slammed him into the wall. A door behind the counter opened. It was the boss.

"Hey who the hell are you?" asked a short man in dark blue pants and a white t-shirt.

"That 'good' employee of yours wouldn't give me a job." Vegeta said.

"Well, that 'good' employee," the boss said, "has been my employee of the month for two straight years!" The short man waddled over to the skinny man. "He's dead you moron!"

"Serves him right for defying a prince." Vegeta crossed his arms and looked serious. He blinked once and the little man was gone. "Where'd you go you stupid midget?"

The little man stood up from behind the counter. His face pure red. "Well, I was gunna get you an application since someone has to replace this guy, but you called me a midget. NOBODY CALLS ME THAT! ARNOLD!"

Suddenly Arnold Schwarzenegger came busting out of the back room and tackled Vegeta. Vegeta used his Big Bang Ball, but The Terminator could not be destroyed.

Arnold pulled out two saw-off shotguns and blasted Vegeta away. The police arrived a little later and asked about it, but the boss said it was nothing, although the police kept questioning about there being no front wall.


	3. Vegeta A Baby Sitter?

Vegeta was sitting on the porch to his house - actually Bulma's. Staring at Goku ready to kill him. He always hated Goku for being better than him. He defeated Frieza, his son defeated Cell, he defeated Buu, he defeated Lord Slug, and he defeated all of them. And now he had a job and the Prince didn't.

"Hey Daddy," said a voice behind him.

"I've told you not to call me that Bra!" Vegeta said without turning around.

"Well anyway my friend has a baby sister and they're looking for a baby sitter. And since you don't have a -"

Vegeta stood up and screamed, "I would never watch a pathetic worthless human being! It would make me sick staring at him drooling and I would kill it if it cried!"

Bra just stood there staring blankly. "Ok I'll just take the hundred zennies and hour." And she walked away.

"Wha . . . wha . . . wha . . . a . . . a hundred zennies an hour! Bra wait get back here! I forgot your mother said clean your room!" he started chasing after her.

Bra took this as a chance to get what she wanted. They talked for a while after finally agreeing that Vegeta could have the job if he "talked" Bulma into letting Bra get her driver's license no matter what her grades were.

_Baby-sitting some twerp can't be too hard, can it?_ Thought Vegeta as he went to the door. He was going to knock but decided it'd be better to use the doorbell because he might knock the door over. The house was massive. It was bigger than his and Bulma's.

The door opened and a hot blonde that was loaded answered the door. Vegeta thought he recognized her from some "videos." She smiled, "Ooze muz' 've Vegeesa."

She was definitely the women in the "movies" he watched. "Actually it's Vegeta."

"Zye'm Zorry zabou' my's accen'."

It's all right. "Well, bye now he quickly slipped in and sort of pushed her out because he couldn't stand her accent. "Now where's the runt?"

"What's a runt?" said a small voice from behind him. Vegeta turned around and saw a girl about three years old.

"Wait a second . . ." Vegeta looked up as if he were trying to see in his head. "Aren't you supposed to be a baby?"

"Oh you must be talking about my littler sister Leah."

"What? Nobody mentioned two kids!" Then another girl about five and another about seven came out.

The girl who looked seven said, "I'm Liz, that's Lauren," she pointed to the five year old, "that's Laura," she pointed to the girl behind Vegeta, "and this is Leah she held up the baby."

"What?"

Liz sniffed the baby. "And I think your job has just come into action." She and the others ran and as she passed Vegeta she gave him Leah and said, "She made a poppy," then giggled. 

"Argh! I'll get you pests!" He paused looked at the baby then stuck is tongue as if he wanted to gauge. "Earthlings are hideous." He stared more. "Oh crap how do I change a diaper? And where the hell are the diapers?"

A boy probably about nine came running in tossed him a diaper and ran off. "Hey wait! Who are you?" He looked around for a place to set the baby but there was none so he just put Leah on the floor. He ran after the boy and came into the living room where he saw six boys sitting.

"Dang yo mom got bizay!"

"Actually only we are her boys." Three boys stood up. One of them was the nine year old. The oldest who looked thirteen said, "I'm Leo, that's Leon," he pointed to the kid in the middle that was probably ten or eleven, "and that's Larry," he pointed to the nine year old. "Each of us is having a friend spend the night to night. That's Luke, Logan, and Lucas."

"Holy crap! Shoot me! Then the girls came back down, but now they each had a friend. Then came Leah crawling in with another baby. "Oh my god! Somebody help me!"

Vegeta ran to the door but the kids ran in front of it. "You can't leave us alone we might injure ourselves," they all said with an evil twisted look. Even the babies googo-gaagaed something.

"Oh well you give me an opportunity to do this. I've been working on it." He pulled his hands back. "KAAAA-MEEEEEE-HAAAAAA-MEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" There was a big flash an explosion. He squinted to see what happened but they were still there just as they were previously and the wall was still standing.

"Let's play Hide-And-Seek," Vegeta said trying to smile while thinking this could be a way to get out. "I'll be it first." The kids ran off and Vegeta started counting out loud. "One! Two! Three! Four! Ummm . . . What comes after four?" he asked honestly.

"Five yelled a boy upstairs."

"Five! Six! Seven! Nine! Wait that doesn't . . .. What the hell screw it."?

He ran upstairs. Even if he really planned on playing it would be impossible to find him since the house was so big. He ran all the way up every flight of stairs he found until he came to the top floor. Now most top floors were dusty, old, and called attics. But you could call this place a living room. It had a plasma screen TV, a stereo, and a big window. Vegeta took a lamp and threw it at the window since his energy attacks obviously didn't work. The lamp hit the window but did nothing. "Damn!" He threw a bunch of stuff at it, but none of the he cracked it. He picked up the TV and threw it, then the couch, but nothing worked.

"Psst! Psst!" Vegeta heard a sound from above him and saw an eye staring down at him. "Is anyone there?"

Vegeta looked around. "No." Suddenly there was a big hole in the ceiling. Vegeta didn't need to be told he jumped right up.

"I'm Luke's personal butler."

"Wait the friends of her kids have butlers?" asked Vegeta.

"Yep. They stay here all the time. The rest of the personal butlers are behind you." He turned around and saw a bunch of faces.

"These kids are devils."

"Yes we know."

"How do we get out?"

"Well, only one person ever made it out. And we don't know how she did it. She blue-green hair and actually just came over last week."

"That's my daughter you're talking about. She's the one who told me to come here."

"Our best guess live through it until their mother gets back. Now get out of here. He pushed Vegeta out and Vegeta growled.

_Five hours later when the mom gets home_

"Hezlow! Wez iz ezryonez?"

"We're right here mommy." She looked at the kids standing in a puddle of a red substance.

Something red dropped into the puddle and she looked up. "Ah!"

"He said something about being depressed then hung himself from the chandeliers said Liz.

"Oz my godz! Wez muz' quallz 911."

When she ran to the phone all of the children grinned with great evil and ran upstairs. Then Vegeta came out from behind a plant. "Suckers! Falling for a decoy." Vegeta ran out the door and went straight back to Capsule Corp.

When he got back he yelled, "BRA! Get out here." Bra came running outside to Vegeta. "I should ground you," he sneered.

"Oh so you figured out you had to pretend to kill yourself, huh?"

"Yep."

"What'd you do?"

"Pretended to hang myself."

"Cool."

"What'd you use for a fake body."

"Oh I killed a butler then fixed his hair and clothes."

"Cool. Later."


End file.
